I never thought things will be the same after my return. When i felt that you seemed to feel the same, my dying heart started beating again. The tears, wounds and heartbreak over the two months healed so quickly. You are my antidote.
To nourish the relationship that we almost lost, i tried to be the best of me when i was with you. It was great. We spent lot of wonderful time. However, i wasn't happy as time goes by. I accommodated you at the cost of disguising myself. I wasn't me anymore.
When the mask started cracking, my resentment emerged. I couldn't be your Miss Perfect anymore. I became upset, grumpy and agitated easily. The bombshell that lie within me was ticking, and eventually, it went off.
Am i demanding or you are giving less? Am i taken for granted or you just don't express well? Despite the arguments and fights right from the very beginning till now, i never thought of giving up decisively. I know i have been telling you, 'maybe it's not meant to be', 'maybe i should walk away' and etc, I never ever take the action. I am clueless about my persistance in this relationship.
I can be relentless in this relationship if you want me too. That's the question that remain unanswered. Although it is unanswered, i am still taking the risk in giving you every bit of my heart. That's really frustrating.
Is this another barrier that we need to hurdle? Can we weather the storm again?
I am not sure if you will read my blog as you choose not to read it a while ago.
I still want to tell you - D, i never thought of giving you up no matter how awful the arguments were and how hurtful your words can be.
I will be a better me if you can embrace a little grumpy and moody me sometimes.
I need a hug from you, telling me that - 'it's all right, it's okie, i am here for you'.
Would you do that?
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