A RM30 valuable lesson

I learnt a lesson today.

A lesson to be careful when carrying taxable item from Singapore to Malaysia.

A lesson to be tactful when dealing with the greedy dickhead.

A lesson to realise Malaysia is truly a corrupted country.

For better or worst?

Commitment is a promise to do something. It is also a willingness to devote your energy and time to engage in an activity.

When you showed me your willingness to commit to this relationship, my surprise was indescribable. You were serious when you said it. You never say something that you can't deliver. Nonetheless, the doubt and insecurity are still creeping into my mind. The countless arguments and fights happened in the past are still haunting me. It is way too overwhelming to put an equation with our relationship with commitment. I never have the confidence to look at the bright side. If i have foreseen the worst, the disappointment and sadness will not be too overwhelming if things go sour. Yeah, i am a coward as i never think i can beat the odds when it comes to love.

I am not sure the rationale behind you of making this commitment. If you think things will be as wonderful and lovely as to the 48 hours that we spent, you definitely underestimate the difficulties ahead. We could never solve the differences while we were psyhically together, not to mention with the distance now.

We can only weather the storm if love between us is enough and strong. Sadly, this fundamental element seems to be missing.

Is this commitment for better or worst?

I miss London

When i was on the MRT this morning, i missed the tube drivers in London who always remind you to mind the gap and the platform.

When the MRT moved like a snail, i missed the tubes of London which takes such a short time to where i wanted to go.

When FairPrice was packed with people, the hpermarket in Singapore, i missed Sainsbury's at Finchley Road which i never get that annoyed no matter how busy it was.

When i was walking alone on the way back home, i missed the routes that we took no matter what the weather was.

Not only i miss London, but also the company of you throughout the good and bad time.

It never will

The 48 hours that we spent was wonderful. It develops into something deeper that carries my heart away.

I love you more than i can ever imagine.

However, it doesn't change anything still.

And it never will.

End or beginning?

In less than 24 hours time, we will be seeing each other.

These two days will determine if we will ever cross path again.

It's either an end or a beginning.

It's crystal clear now

Communication breakdown happens all the time.

The intended meaning perceived by the other party can be distorted somehow. If it is not fixed, this will result in irreparable damage in a relationship.

One of the important elements of reducing the breakdown is to talk things out in a right tone and manner. If emotions are ruling, yelling, screaming, accusing and blaming one another definitely push the relationship to the edge of the cliff.

When you are hurt emotionally, the best way is to tell him/her ' I don't like it when you say this, as i feel hurt. If he or she cares about you, they will listen to you. They don't want you to get hurt as they love you.

I didn't communicate the problem in a right manner. Instead of pointing finger at me, blaming me for causing all the argument, i would appreciate a better approach. An approach to tell me you don't like the way i communicate the problem and because of that you feel hurt. I will apologize straight away as i never want to hurt your feelings because i love you.

The same argument keeps recurring and the same heart keeps bleeding. The number of time mending the bleeding heart is uncountable.

You don't love me enough. Otherwise, you won't hurt my feelings everytime i make you upset unknowingly.

It's crystal clear now.

Thanks for that.

Faith

I am going to start my new job in two weeks time.

I am nervous and scared.

I doubt my capability.

I need more assurance and confidence.

The assurance and confidence come from the faith in myself.

Feiyong, you can do it!

WU-82 days

I can't believe that we are going to meet each other soon.

I will patiently count down to the day that we meet.

I want to tell you how much i miss you...