My little nest

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

I never thought things will be the same after my return. When i felt that you seemed to feel the same, my dying heart started beating again. The tears, wounds and heartbreak over the two months healed so quickly. You are my antidote.

To nourish the relationship that we almost lost, i tried to be the best of me when i was with you. It was great. We spent lot of wonderful time. However, i wasn't happy as time goes by. I accommodated you at the cost of disguising myself. I wasn't me anymore.

When the mask started cracking, my resentment emerged. I couldn't be your Miss Perfect anymore. I became upset, grumpy and agitated easily. The bombshell that lie within me was ticking, and eventually, it went off.

Am i demanding or you are giving less? Am i taken for granted or you just don't express well? Despite the arguments and fights right from the very beginning till now, i never thought of giving up decisively. I know i have been telling you, 'maybe it's not meant to be', 'maybe i should walk away' and etc, I never ever take the action. I am clueless about my persistance in this relationship.

I can be relentless in this relationship if you want me too. That's the question that remain unanswered. Although it is unanswered, i am still taking the risk in giving you every bit of my heart. That's really frustrating.

Is this another barrier that we need to hurdle? Can we weather the storm again?

I am not sure if you will read my blog as you choose not to read it a while ago.

I still want to tell you - D, i never thought of giving you up no matter how awful the arguments were and how hurtful your words can be.

I will be a better me if you can embrace a little grumpy and moody me sometimes.

I need a hug from you, telling me that - 'it's all right, it's okie, i am here for you'.

Would you do that?

Friday, 13 March 2009

Back here!

Ah!! It's been a while since i updated my blog. Folks, i am definitely still alive okie?

What have i been doing? Well...just moved to a new place a week ago. Moving house is such a strenuous task! It really exhausted me completely. Luckily, Mr D was there to help me up.

Mr D and i went to Isle of Wight last weekend. It is a lovely island which is 2 hours by train from London.

Ryde pier _The pier where we got off from the ferry

Funcky Feiyong posing at the pier

Isle of Wight is famous of the beaches. There are quite a number of beaches around Sandown, Shanklin and etc.

The beach in Sandown

It's a real beach that you can feel the sand rather than pebbles. You can imagine how packed the beach is during summer.

The weather in the morning was brilliant. You can tell by the shadow of me in this picture.

Feiyong playing on the beach. The water was damn cold!!!

Another highlight of Isle of Wight is The Needles-three towers of rock jutting out of the sea at the Island's western end.

Picture is taken from Wikipedia_The Needles

The view of Alum Bay_where The Needles are

On top of the cliff

The view on the top of the cliff is spectacular although it was windy and cold.

Mr D dared me to walk to the top of the hill although i slipped few times and was hyperventilating. Haha...

Other than that....

I am reading a novel - The Birthing House by Christopher Ransom. It is recommeded as the scariest novel since Stephen King's- The Shining. I am not gonna miss it as i love horror and spooky stuff!

That's for now.

See ya!

Monday, 23 February 2009

A day trip in Brighton

Mr D and i went to Brighton over the weekend.

It has been ages since i last stepped my foot on the beach. However, the beach is full of pebbles. I miss the beaches in Malaysia which you can feel the real sand.

Brighton is a nice place to spend your weekend if you want to feel the briskness of the wind of sea.