A patchy path

I am getting uptight lately. The stress and pressure of finding a way out really keeps my emotions on the edge.

What should I do? Where should I go? There are so many uncertainties lying ahead which need to be carefully pondered before any course of action is taken. The process slowly erodes my patience and confidence.

I am planning to apply highly skilled migrant visa when I go back to Malaysia in November. Recently, I found out that the risk of rejection is high if you are a UK working holiday maker who wants to apply the highly skilled migrant visa under Tier 1. You have to justify that the length of your stay in UK is at least 50% travelling. For example, if you stay 1 year in UK, you need to prove that you have travelled for at least half a year. Also, the job you have MUST BE incidental to your holiday. Meaning to say, if you hold a permanent position, and yet, you travel less than 50% of your stay in UK, your application is most likely to be rejected. Unfortunately, this is the predicament that I am facing. The recent changes of UK immigration rules really cause such a stir to people like us!

I am still considering what I am gonna do. My head is spinning around each time I think about this. I would only grit my teeth and assure that it will be sorted out at the end of the day. An unendurable process that drives my emotions to the edge of the cliff.

Hopefully, I will tell you my decision in the next blog.

Have a good weekend…

Ps: Spending my weekend in Windsor Castle with MK and CJ. A last and farewell trip among three of us. Finally, the fellowship has come to an end…

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

My head is spinning around because they are back to haunt us again!!!

Who are they?

Bed bugs!!!!

We need to hot wash all the bed linen, pillowcases, sheets and duvet covers before the fumigation tomorrow. It’s gonna be a hell lot of works to do!!

Why can’t they just leave us alone?? We have been traumatised physically and psychologically in the old place. Why do they have to follow us all the way here???

My anger, outrageousness and morbidness are indescribable.

Fuck off bed bugs!!!

There's no one else will do...

I start getting emotionally involved.

It’s a signs of expectations, insecurity and uncertainty. I always ask myself to be sensible and rational but to no avail.

I have a failed relationship few years ago. It brings unendurable and irresistible heartbreak, sorrow, suffocation and tears. It’s a mentally ordeal that kept me depressed for few months. The unconditionally care and love showered by family and friends, heals the wounded me.

It teaches me a lesson, a lesson not to love and care so much to someone. If you remain sensible, you wouldn’t expect and demand so much that will minimise the degree of disillusion and disappointment.

It’s easier to say than do. How many of us can remain sane when you are besotted with someone. If hearts can be controlled and ruled, there won’t be so much heartbreak.

The more sensible my mind is, the more rebellious my heart is. I won’t dictate it anymore. It might be broken into pieces. Somehow, I will mend it, as….. there’s no one else will do.

It's time to go...

Eyes are brimming with tears.

What am i doing here? Why am i leaving my beloved family and friends to this bloody place that is full of coldness, selfishness and loliness?

There's no dream here.

My dreams are completely shattered and devastated long time ago.

It's time to go home.

It's time to see those who are genuinely, unconditionally and truthfully cares about me.

What i did over the weekend...

1. Shopping

I went for BURBERRY sample sale with MK, CJ, Pamela and her boyfriend. Guess what??? I bought 4 handbags and 3 purses. Gosh!!! This is the most spendthrift day during my stay in London.

To be honest i am not a materialistic girl (it's because i don't have much money to be materialistic :) ). However, the sample sale is just bloody tempting. For example, the purse i bought costs 155 pounds if you wanna buy it in the retail shop. However, i only paid 50 pounds in the sample sale! How would you resist the temptation??? If you miss it, you are such an idiot!!!

In order not to be an idiot, i splurged!!!

It's such a guilty pleasure.

Specially thanks Pam for bringing us to the sample sale. Love ya!!!

2. Badminton

A beautiful Sunday morning.

We went to the nearby Sport Centre and played badminton. It's been so long since i last played it.

Devil Feiyong

Terry taught Feiyong the right way of playing badminton

A very fun afternoon. I should do more exercise from now on!!

3. Mid Autumn Festival

Today is Mid Autumn Festival. We went to a friend place and have dinner.

Our chef--Terry. He's the boss in the take away shop that i worked before. He cooks really nice food!!!!

The main courses!

Steamed tofu with prawn

Stir fried prawn with spring onion

Fish meat and melon soup

Steamed fish with spring onion and ginger

The dinner was damn delicious! The dishes reminds me of Mum's home cooked food.

From clockwise, CJ, MK, Terry, Pamela, Zhihao and Dave

The moon. Is overseas moon brighter? I don't think so...

Group picture

A very fun, heartwarming and lovely weekend.

My anxiety, fear and trouble seem to be dispelled. The obstacles are still ahead. However, i seem to have the courage to battle it.

I was not alone at that moment. Just that moment...

???

Annoyed!

Not exactly sure how i can deal with that.

There are so many question marks at the moment!

It causes a big headache to me.

Pig!!!!

I will weather the storm.

Lollipop

DJM, thanks for the lollipop.

The lolly seems to bring warmth and care to my unsettled heart.

I never thought that you will surprise me with this. However, it did put a big smile on my face.

Not exactly sure how i can finish this.

Would you help me please?