A RM30 valuable lesson

I learnt a lesson today.

A lesson to be careful when carrying taxable item from Singapore to Malaysia.

A lesson to be tactful when dealing with the greedy dickhead.

A lesson to realise Malaysia is truly a corrupted country.

For better or worst?

Commitment is a promise to do something. It is also a willingness to devote your energy and time to engage in an activity.

When you showed me your willingness to commit to this relationship, my surprise was indescribable. You were serious when you said it. You never say something that you can't deliver. Nonetheless, the doubt and insecurity are still creeping into my mind. The countless arguments and fights happened in the past are still haunting me. It is way too overwhelming to put an equation with our relationship with commitment. I never have the confidence to look at the bright side. If i have foreseen the worst, the disappointment and sadness will not be too overwhelming if things go sour. Yeah, i am a coward as i never think i can beat the odds when it comes to love.

I am not sure the rationale behind you of making this commitment. If you think things will be as wonderful and lovely as to the 48 hours that we spent, you definitely underestimate the difficulties ahead. We could never solve the differences while we were psyhically together, not to mention with the distance now.

We can only weather the storm if love between us is enough and strong. Sadly, this fundamental element seems to be missing.

Is this commitment for better or worst?

I miss London

When i was on the MRT this morning, i missed the tube drivers in London who always remind you to mind the gap and the platform.

When the MRT moved like a snail, i missed the tubes of London which takes such a short time to where i wanted to go.

When FairPrice was packed with people, the hpermarket in Singapore, i missed Sainsbury's at Finchley Road which i never get that annoyed no matter how busy it was.

When i was walking alone on the way back home, i missed the routes that we took no matter what the weather was.

Not only i miss London, but also the company of you throughout the good and bad time.

It never will

The 48 hours that we spent was wonderful. It develops into something deeper that carries my heart away.

I love you more than i can ever imagine.

However, it doesn't change anything still.

And it never will.

End or beginning?

In less than 24 hours time, we will be seeing each other.

These two days will determine if we will ever cross path again.

It's either an end or a beginning.

It's crystal clear now

Communication breakdown happens all the time.

The intended meaning perceived by the other party can be distorted somehow. If it is not fixed, this will result in irreparable damage in a relationship.

One of the important elements of reducing the breakdown is to talk things out in a right tone and manner. If emotions are ruling, yelling, screaming, accusing and blaming one another definitely push the relationship to the edge of the cliff.

When you are hurt emotionally, the best way is to tell him/her ' I don't like it when you say this, as i feel hurt. If he or she cares about you, they will listen to you. They don't want you to get hurt as they love you.

I didn't communicate the problem in a right manner. Instead of pointing finger at me, blaming me for causing all the argument, i would appreciate a better approach. An approach to tell me you don't like the way i communicate the problem and because of that you feel hurt. I will apologize straight away as i never want to hurt your feelings because i love you.

The same argument keeps recurring and the same heart keeps bleeding. The number of time mending the bleeding heart is uncountable.

You don't love me enough. Otherwise, you won't hurt my feelings everytime i make you upset unknowingly.

It's crystal clear now.

Thanks for that.

Faith

I am going to start my new job in two weeks time.

I am nervous and scared.

I doubt my capability.

I need more assurance and confidence.

The assurance and confidence come from the faith in myself.

Feiyong, you can do it!

WU-82 days

I can't believe that we are going to meet each other soon.

I will patiently count down to the day that we meet.

I want to tell you how much i miss you...

WU-62 days

It's two months now.

I am not sure what to say.

Doing and thinking nothing are the best ways.

I look forward to the new path of life that will end this sooner and later.

There are paths along the way

Having seen my friends being successful in their careers, holding senior positions in the firm, my feelings are kind of mixed. That's the trade off between the pursuit of what i yearn for and the normal life that i should live on.

You can't get what your want in both hands. Choosing one path over the other, you need to give up certain things. The bottom line is whether you are happy in living the path that you take.

We can never turn back time. We can't undo the things that we have done. However, there are always paths ahead of us. We just need to have faith in it.

I believe that i'll live the life i want one day.

Taipei trip

Recently, i made a trip to Taipei with HV. The purpose of this trip is to catch up with friends and taste the local taiwanese food that i didn't get to try last time.

Taiwan is a cool country! Not to mention the deliciousness of the food and also the hospitability of Taiwanese.

A tip that i learned during this trip - exchange Taiwan Dollars in your home country, otherwise do it at Taiwan airport. If you miss it, you need to go to banks or the big departmental store, ie Sogo to exchange the money. Also, not every currency is exchangeable. To my astonishment, Sogo doesn't exchange British Pounds and i had to go to the national bank to sell it. What an interesting experience! At least, i have no problem exchanging money in other cities.

The trip itself didn't end up marvellously as i was sick. Yeah, too much good food and drink resulting the protest of my body.

The famous spicy steamboat - 麻辣火锅

The ingredients of the steamboat. Yum Yum!

Soya bean milk with sandwich - my breakfast in the next morning

Lunch at a tea drinking place in 故宫 - an expensive and inefficient dining place which is recommended in a travel book. I should make a complaint to the author.

The dessert - almond jelly. Taste awful!

Green bean cake - taste all right!

The dissatisfaction of our lunch was replaced by the superb experience in 热炒店

Taiwanese beer. It was a nice beer for a non beer lover like me. That's the start of my hang over and sickness in the next day.

Hot spring in 乌来

The hot spring pool

My birthday dinner in a Japanese restaurant. Thanks T and HV for that.

Having delicate French dessert in Paul

Apple and chocolate tart - It's sensationally good!

Taipei, i will see you in few years time.

For those stupid drivers on the road!

I deem myself a considerate and careful driver on the road as long as you don't get on my nerve.

There is a traffic light near my place with two lanes. The left lane is for the vehicles turning left to the main road and the right lane is for the vehicles turning right to the other side of the road. I was supposed to take the left lane straight away when the green light was on. However, there was a car ahead of me that stopped at the junction without moving. After honking for few times, i realised that the driver was supposed to take the right lane. Just because there were few cars lining up in the right lane, to save time and to jump the queue, the driver utilised the left lane. The ironic part is - the driver never showed the signal until being honked and the signal was only shown for few seconds. Well, he thought it gave me a crystal idea that ' I want to turn right'. What the f**k! What a selfish and incondesidate driver! To vent my anger, i made a long honk.

Few minutes after that incident, i was driving on the main road. There was a car at the junction, crossing the main road to another side of the road when i nearly drove pass the junction. I was freaked out completely! If i sped or the driver slowed down the car few seconds, our cars would have collided. It would have caused a hugh smash! Gosh! I wouldn't stop honking the bastard!

If you are a careful and thoughtful driver, this doesn't mean that accident won't happen. There are so many selfish and inconsiderate drivers, caring about how to shorten their journey and to pursue the climax of speeding at the expense of others.

WU-Day 44

How are you?

You must be enjoying your trips somewhere.

There are so many questions that i want to ask you. I don't know how to start. Perhaps, i am just afraid of the answers.

It's really annoying!

What should i do to make myself feel better?

I am lost...

Feeling lost.

I wonder if i can get back on track again.

I really doubt myself...

Taipei! Taipei!

I want to eat a lot of yummy food!

I want to be one of the hottest chick walking on the street!

I want to fish for Taiwanese guy!

Boohoooooooooo!

Taipei, please welcome me with full arms!

Yoohoo!

不安

很不安。

没有他的消息已一阵子。脑子老是想着种种可能性。想到都快疯了！找不到他的滋味，真的很难受！

D， 你到底怎么了？

WU-Day 32

I realise one thing.

As long as you are safe and well, it doesn't matter if you don't love me.

Please be safe.

I am very worried.

WU-Day 29

Haven't heard from you for a while.

Hope you are doing great.

There is no email from you still.

That's all right.

I can understand.

I really can understand.

I just need time to heal all these.

The time will come soon.

I promise.

WU-Day 28

I checked my email.

I got no mail from you.

...

WU-Day 26

Do you think of me when you witnessed the spectacular Swiss Alps?

I did.

Job please come!

I need a job and job please finds me!

WU-Day 23

Hi D, how are you doing? Are you having fun at the moment?

I am feeling frustrated, having no luck in getting a job. How i wish i would share my frustration and worries with you. You definitely would be a good listener, patiently comforting me and cheering me up. This is one of the things that i love about you. I feel so loved everytime i share with you my problems.

Do we still have the chance to be together? Whenever i think of the scenario of us walking away from each other life, my eyes always brim with tears.

I love you more than i ever thought.

I am missing you terribly at this moment.

Be well and safe.

I am feeling blue

I am a bit frustrated in finding a job since i got back from London. Being jobless for nearly 12 months really weakens my confidence getting back on track.

If i didn't choose to be a working holiday maker, would i end up getting a highly paid job? My friends, who we used to work together, are now holding senior positions in the organizations. Well, that is the price of forsaking a decent job and chose to be a backpacker.

I won't regret for the decision i made. It moulds a tougher and stronger me - a penniless me as well :) The life experience that built up is something that can not be measured monetarily.

That's all right! Just be positive Feiyong! Nothing can bring you down!

You have to trust yourself as you are Feiyong - unbeatable superwoman!

Please speak out if you need a pair of ear!

Today, i met up with a close friend of mine YB. She revealed that her battle with depression lately. I was so shocked after knowing that she had the tendency to commit suicide. For me, YB is such a positive and strong person. I can't perceive her involvement with depression. Evidently, the burdens on her shoulders really take its toll.

To alleviate the condition, YB has to take few doses of medicine.

This reminds me of my problem few years ago. After undergoing a broken relationship and mounting level of stress at work, i suffered from minor depression. I was agitated, violent and autistic. Luckily, the love of my family and friends walked me through the darkest and lowest point in my life.

If you have any trouble or problem, please share that with someone. Don't carry the frustration, upsetness, anger and sorrow with you. You are pushing yourself to the edge of the cliff. Share it with someone. Your problems might not be solved. At least, you are listened.

YB, get well soon.

WU-Day 21

I never ask for more.

I just hope that you are safe wherever you are.

Be well.

I will think of you.

Have a good trips.

WU-Day 20

'You always want something you can't just be happy...'

This is what you said.

This is what you think about me huh?

I never asked anything from you and try to give you whatever i can give.

It is so hurtful to know that this is what you think about me.

So hurtful...

WU-Day 19

I made few wishes on the KongMing lantern.

D, i love you.

Please be safe and healthy.

Hope we can be together.

Hope we can meet soon.

It may not come true but these are truely how i am feeling now.

Mid Autumn Festivals on 03-10-09

I love Mid Autumn Festival as you get to play lanterns with candles and have a taste of yummy moon cakes.

I celebrated with this festive day with my high school friends in an isolated resort in Kota Tinggi.

Me and Ah Voon posing on the bridge

The back to nature feel

Our wooden room-Ah Voon, PL and TC

It was raining cats and dogs and we couldn't proceed with out outdoor activities

Making KongMing lantern-HV. CL, TC, PL and J

Writing wishes on the lantern, hoping that it will come true...

Our KongMing lantern waiting to be lit

We couldn't lit the lantern due to some technical problem, might as well burn it. Hopefully, our wishes will still come true.

Happy Mid Autumn Festival!

WU-Day 17

I wasn't upset on purpose.

It's because i love and care about you too much.

Would you understand?

WU-Day 16

You are my drug.

A drug that cures my sadness, brings my happiness.

How can i live without it?

WU-Day 15

How can i tell if you still care? You never say a word, you never do a thing.

I won't expect you to do anything.

Expectation only brings disillusion.

You just do what you have to do, i try not to get involved anymore.

Have a good trip to Stratford Upon Avon.

WU-Day 14

I made a huge mistake. A mistake that pushes this vulnerable and fragile relationship to the edge of the cliff.

I never realise a lie can cause such a big storm between us.

I am sorry D.

I am so sorry.

Would you forgive me?

WU-Day 13

D, I feel discouraged but i can't complain as this is what i chose.

I just pray that the transitory period can be over.

As i want to move on...

WU-Day 10

How i wish you would join me for my sister's wedding.

You definitely would enjoy the joyous atmosphere.

You would see the different side of me when i am drunk.

Sigh...

Faye's Wedding_Part 2

The wedding pictures of my pretty sister - Faye!

Tomorrow is her big day. I am very looking forward to it although i will miss her when she is gone...

To be continued...

~A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.~ Nanette Newman

WU-Day 8

D, don't worry too much! The problems will be sorted out eventually.

I feel so good every time i chatted with you. Although i can't be with you physically, knowing every little things in your life, make me happy. At least, we are not drifted apart yet.

You asked me a question today. A question that made me wonder - i might still be special to you at this very moment.

Enjoy the spring rolls tonight!

Faye's Wedding!

My dearest sister - Faye is getting married this Saturday. Let me dedicate this particular blog for her.

The Wedding cake

The wedding cake and biscuits taste deliciously!!

The wedding invitation

To be continued...

~Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse~ by Halen

WU-Day 5

It was a great day!

It was great because of you.

I was so surprised to receive calls from you.

Can i assume that you are missing me as well?

Can i assume that i am special to you?

I am not greedy to ask for more as there isn't any promise.

And i don't think we can keep this going any longer.

Nonetheless, you are still in my minds at this very moment...

Back home!

I am back to Malaysia.

Looking for the next opportunity to fly again.

How would you cage a bird after letting it to taste the sweetness of the freedom?

I am waiting...

WU-Day 4

To cutie D, hope you enjoy the Tour De Britain.

How i wish i could watch it together with you.

Have a lovely day.

WU-Day 3

It was raining cats and dogs this afternoon. This reminds me of your little loft room. The noise of the rain drops that fall on the roof. You will love the rain here.

I still didn't sleep well. My internal body is still with UK time. Perhaps, i want to go to bed and wake up at the sametime that you do in London subconsciously.

I have two clocks now. One clock is adjusted to local time and another clock is adjusted to UK time. By looking at the clock, i basically have an idea of what you will be doing there.

The warmth of your hands and the smile of your face are still vividly refreshed in my mind.

I am not sure when all the feelings will be subsided but i want to tell you,

I miss you still...

WU-Day 1

This blog is specially dedicated to you.

WU = Without you

I will keep this WU blog going as long as you are still in my mind.

Goodbye London

Finally, the day has come.

It's time to bid farewell to this fascinating city after 2 years.

Not only do i bid farewell to this country, but also to you.

Regardless of good day or bad day, you are the one who accompanied me.

You might not be the one, but i am thankful that i ever met you.

It is not the end, it's another new chapter in our life.

Three cheers for you and me.

I will always miss you...

...

It's exactly a year now.

A year relationship is not that remarkable to be paraded after countless arguments and break-ups. We are still together at this point of time. I don't dare to think we have weathered the storm . In fact, the storm is coming with full force that will sweep us away.

I can't grasp the reason that bind us together still. A crush, a desire or something else? I asked you few times and you couldn't answer. The answer is obvious now.

If i leave you for someone that treats me better than you do, will you blame me for that? Probably not. You will let go of my hands. As i am never imprinted in your inner heart.

Just let it end peacefully and naturally.

Switzerland_Interlaken_Part 3

Interlaken is located in the cental region of Switzerland. A very lovely place with scenic view.

Lake Brienz, the colour of the water is so beautiful...

On the way to see the Alps...

I was on the train taking this beautiful picture

At Stechelberg, waiting to catch the cable car to the top of Schilthorn


To reach the summit of Schilthorn, you need to take a 32-minute trip by aerial cableway.

Pictures taken in the cable car.

The Schilthorn-Piz Gloria. The place that you see the Alps. This is always the fim location of 007 movie - On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

It was a cloudy day and i couldn't get a better view of the Alps.

Next destination - Zermatt. One of the famous skiing paradise in Switzerland.

Zzzzzzz.....

Am gonna spend 20 hours at Athens airport to fly back to London...

I am so sick at thne moment after taking 13 hours on ferry back and forth from Santorini.

No more ferry, boats and whatsoever in the next couple of months...

Hot hot hot!!!

Am heading to Santorini in an hour time.

Greece is bloody hot! Luckily, i brought my umbrella with me and it helps to keep the sun exposure so much better!

Think i am sick as my head is spinning around most of the time.

Missing the cooler weather in London.

I am so looking forward to Santorini, the famous whitewashed and blue roof houses!

See you later!

Greeceee!

Am leaving to Greece tomorrow. Hopefully, i will survive the heat wave.

Switzerland_Zurich_Part 2

Switzerland is a lovely country. It doesn't matter if you miss Zurich or Geneva. But, you definitely can't miss the Alps and the scenic country side.

Zurich - the largest city and financial centre of Switzerland.

One of the bakery shops in Zurich

Yummy seafood taken during my stroll

Grossmunster in Zurich

Central Zurich and St Peter's Church

Barfussbar_This place is a bar at night time. It is also a public bath for women only during day time

Guys! You are not allowed to enter!

Many nude women having sunbath inside the bar

I took a boat ride in Lake Zurich. It was a bloody hot day. I nearly melt walking under the sun.

Around the lake, you can see many jetties where Swiss take their boat having a ride on the lake during summer.

You can even see people swimming in the lake.

The Swiss really know how to enjoy their lives!

My next destination is Interlaken.

The beginning of my mountainous and scenic trips of Switzerland.